Friday, 17 May 2013

snippet from Mr Tripp buys a lifestyle



There is a belief that what went in must come out. It seems an obvious thought, but on a boat nothing is that simple. The Tripps had inherited a thick, stiff, foam mattress that had the dimensions of a Mac truck with all the nobbly bits sticking out. It was in three bits and looked like it would just fold in half and go through the door. Vivian pulled and the thing sprung back like a sciatic nerve. Colin tried to roll and it flipped over taking him with it as a contender for World Championship wrestling. They employed some rope and tried to put the two end together and ended up wrapped in it like a kebab. 
"I think we need to be a bit canny here." Viv thought on the problem. "What if we take it out of its cover, then we will have three separate bits. She found the zip and gently gave it a tug. The zip was welded shut with rust.
"Who puts a bloody metal zip on a boat, ridiculous!" Colin was ready to rip the thing into shred as his frustration level grew.
"What about if I..." Vivian began. Colin held up his hand. "Right, I'm taking charge." He grabbed the unwieldy mattress and wrestled it into a nonagon and then via brute force pushed it through the doorway to the saloon. It jagged, caught and snagged on the table, the engine box, the latches and knocked a light off the bulkhead. He heaved the monster past the table and threw himself at the companionway stairs. The mattress sprung out and much like trying to put a cat in a bucket of water it wasn't going outside come hell or high water.
It was a close call who won the first round as Colin pushed and shoved and the monster sprang, flipped and bounced and finally was squeezed through the companionway hatch and into the cockpit. It hung on to the last catching on the rigging and the ropes before it was unceremoniously dumped on the dock.
"We're getting hammocks." Colin said as he wiped the sweat from his face.


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