Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Mr Tripps branding

"Hellooooo there," the tattooed man called. Vivian scampered behind Colin and tried to hide.
"I hope he isn't wearing polaroids," Viv whispered to Colin.
"Er, hello there." Colin waved.
"Where is it you are headed?"
"Well...we actually are just on a bit of a break. My wife here," Colin pointed behind his back while treading water, "and I are just..." Vivian gave Col a dig in the back to get on with it as she could see Colin getting up steam and forgetting they were both naked, in the water, and the ladder was in full view of the neighbour. Col giggled.
"We could come over later if you like." Colin smiled and the Tripps swam backwards towards Moonlighting.
"You get up Col and then toss me my bathers."
"Why me?"
"Well, it was your idea."
"No it wasn't."
"Yes it was."
"Wasn't. Anyway we could just wait 'till the boat swings around the other way and then we won't be in view."
"And we could just wait for the sun to go down." Viv snapped back and swam into the shade.

beche de mer
" Oh, alright." Colin rolled his eyes and paddled over to the ladder. A ladder is a very useful thing in the right circumstances. This rope ladder had all the makings of a useful thing, except the last rung was about half a metre from the surface of the water. It may not look like a lot, but when you have to put your foot on it and haul yourself up, it can be a mighty obstacle. Colin tried to get a grip with his foot by putting his toes around the rope and pulling. With one leg up around his ear and the other flapping about in the water there wasn't much left to the imagination.  It reminded Viv of a rhyme she had learnt about the angle of the dangle. He flopped back in the water and tried a different tack. Lunging at the rope he gained a hand hold further up and then managed to get his knee on the last rung. The ladder swung wildly to the side as Colin hung on, bent double, all thoughts of modesty lost to the prevailing wind. His toe struck a hold in the exhaust outlet and he splayed himself out on the hull and gradually inched his way up and rolled over the gunwale onto the hot deck. His beche de mer
sizzled on a sun baked stainless steel fitting, and Colin shot up howling in pain. For a crazy split second he had the idea of jumping in the sea, then sanity prevailed and he rushed downstairs and grabbed a cold beer can and put it on his burnt offering. It was only when he had finished the beer and thought about a second one that he remembered his wife. Whipping on a pair of shorts he rushed up on deck and peered over the side.

Mr Tripp paperback to buy.

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