Monday, 2 March 2015

Fat and Skinny went to War : Memoir. SNIPPET

This is the beginning of my new work in progress. It is my memoir. I expect there will be laughter and tears... and old enemies to be faced and conquered.



FAT AND SKINNY WENT TO WAR

Fat and skinny went to war
fat got shot with an apple core.
Fat and skinny went up a tree
fat fell down the lavatory.
Skinny went down and pulled the chain
and
fat was never seen again.




Oh the mortification. There was Brown Owl holding up my knickers and asking if anyone had left them behind. I was on a brownie camp and I nearly died right then and there. Of course I didn’t own up and they didn’t have my name in them, but I just knew everyone else knew they were mine. The ignominy of the situation might not seem apparent, but you see I was the only one with BIG undies. It was the 60’s and girls were just getting into coloured underwear, hipster knickers and mine were of the white, sensible, bonds and BIG variety. The objects of my humiliation were pinned up to the notice board and there they stayed. It wouldn’t be the only time in my life I wished for a quick death or later as science discovered space, a black hole.


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