Saturday, 5 April 2014

Barney's test. snippet.

Barney is given some "red" pills to perk him up so he can go to a Greek wedding...

"Nonsense. You wait. Those suckers will kick in and you will be right as rain."
"But..." Angela held up her hand for no arguments and Barney flopped back into his pillow. He looked at his best friend's wife. She used to be drop dead gorgeous. Long lustrous dark hair, olive skin and deep mysterious eyes and boy how she swayed those hips when she walked. Now she was a bit thicker all over, her hair was always in a ponytail and she looked perpetually tired. He narrowed his eyes as his mind suddenly jumped to conclusions like a sack race at a Sunday school picnic.
"There's not going to be all your cousins there, are there?"
"Whatdayamean?" Angela perched on the end of Barney's bed and picked at the quilt cover.
"Angela?" Barney has a sneaking suspicion that Angela was matchmaking again. She could be straight out of Fiddler on the Roof the way she tried to marry him off.

"Oi, I have such a match for you. Such a nice girl. Such a beauty you'll see. So he has a nose like a cow. Such a good wife. A nice wife. So she is fat. A good cook she is. Oi I have a match for you."

"I really can't say. Maybe one or two." One or two in Angela's vocab meant the whole family. Barney had seen some before and those that weren't married, well, it was for a reason.

"So she will grow a little wide. It is a good set of hips, for children. And a moustache is not a sin. Just a hair or two...or three. They are good girls, nice girls...old is a blessing. You'll see. A blessing."

Barney could see the cousins lined up at the foot of his bed and it gave him the shivers.
"Are you cold?" Angela asked. Barney shook his head and tried to think of an out.
"Sick?" He nodded and put on a face.
"It's the pills. I'll get you something in your stomach." 

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