Before he went to bed Barney held up one lens of his broken glasses to his better eye and looked in the mirror. He was a mess. The bridge of his nose was so bruised it was the same colour as a pomegranate and grape smoothie . His sockets were ringed in purple and his nose, which he considered his best feature reminded him of a proboscis monkey. There was no way he could actually wear his glasses and so the myopic squint he developed made him look especially gormless. The Doctor with his good looks, his bank balance and his standing in Wallaroy had already made a score on the board on the first ball.
Proboscis Monkey 0
Good looking usurper 3