Mr Tripp buys a lifestyle

Simile and metaphor.
I have been playing with the humorous bits in the new work in progress.
here are just a few

..Ted grasped the offering as a dying atheist grabs at confession.

..pointed to Colin, whose ears were flapping as if they were employing semaphore to signal the passing ferry there was an idiot on board.

... what ever he had for breakfast didn't present well at elevensees and Ted lent over the rail and let rip.

I'm no expert, I will leave that up to P.G. Wodehouse.