Showing posts with label Fat Bits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fat Bits. Show all posts
Thursday, 28 January 2016
FAT BITS out now
FAT BITS
is available as a paperback Here
Evelyn Wright is 29, works in a hospital sterilizing unit and her biological clock is a time bomb, according to her sister, Joy.
When Joy discovers via the internet that on average a woman has 8 sexual partners before finding Mr Right, it triggers Evelyn to go fishing, because as her father often says,
“There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
Over the course of 8 different men Evelyn learns about sex and what they got up to in the Karma Sutra without a back massage.
And of course she learns about love...eventually.
Thursday, 14 January 2016
Finished. Now for the spit and polish.
It is finished. Now for the hard yards of editing.
The sea hath fish for every (wo)man.
Evelyn Wright is going fishing, but when the internet says on average a woman has 8 sexual partners before she finds the perfect man, Evelyn will need a special lure to land the catch of the day.
Friday, 1 January 2016
FAT BITS Adult only *bits*
ADULTS ONLY
Some
people need a bit of coaxing. Tom wasn’t one of those people.
He
pulled at my plastic zip and my crop top practically fell off. I have never
kissed a man with a beard, but the experience was very sensual. Tom caressed my
breasts with his beard and kissed my boobs, burying his face in my cleavage.
When he came up for air he threw himself on my lap and took my head in his
hands and kissed me, using his tongue to maximum effect. He ran it over my
lips, around my teeth, and played with my tongue until I could feel his
erection in my lap.
“Oh,
Evelyn.” He whispered. It was just a hop, skip and a jump to his bedroom. I
surveyed the linen,(‘cause it is the mark of a man the way he keeps his linen,)
and then we fell onto his bed.
“Tom?”
“Yes?”
“Do
you, um…”
“Oh,
of course.”
How
considerate I thought as he rolled my lycra leggings off.
“Are
you comfortable?” Tom grabbed a pillow and put it under my head. What a kind
gesture. Here was a gentleman.
He
stood up and took his trousers off and took the time to fold them and hang them
over one of those valet chair thingos. Then he pulled off his t-shirt and did
the same. Neat and tidy. I like that in a man.
I
lay there on his bed and basked in his niceness when I caught him looking at my
thighs.
“Are
you ok?” He pointed to my legs.
“Yes.
Just wonderful.” I said.
“No,
I mean, look.” He pointed. I propped myself up and took a look at the sticking
point in question. My inner thighs were an angry red. No wonder I was going for
the burn. I had chafe that looked like a raspberry birthmark. Any more and I
could have started a forest fire.
“Does
it hurt?”
“I
guess so.” I touched the inflamed spot.
“Do
you want some cream?”
I
could see our moment of passion disappearing, so I played down the rash.
“Nah.
I’m ok. Happens all the time. Go for the burn they say.” I laughed it off.
Tom
wasn’t too convinced with my act so I went into overdrive trying to be
seductive.
“So,
um, where were we?” I took off my bra and threw it with abandon on the floor.
Tom thoughtfully picked it up and placed it on his chair.
“About
here.” He lay next to me and kissed my nipples. It was enough to make them
stand erect and before we knew it we were naked, Tom was on top of me, I had my
legs wrapped around his torso and he was pumping away, going for the burn.
It
was then that I turned my head to see Bonzo sitting on the floor, watching.
Having a dog watch you making love is one of those moments that you are not
likely to forget or one that you don’t want to repeat. It certainly put the
dampeners on it for me. I tried to discreetly shoo him away, but he was glued
like a porn movie addict.
“What’s
the matter?” Tom could feel I was off the boil.
“Nothing.
Really it’s nothing.” I grabbed his butt and pulled him in closer and bit his
neck. He moaned, shuddered and it was all over red Rover, only it wasn’t Rover,
it was Bonzo.
Tuesday, 14 July 2015
A bit of titillation in my new WIP. FAT BITS
I came out and he was kicking
back on his fake leather lounge that had more cracks in it than the terrazzo at
Pompeii.
“Wanna a drink?”
“Well, I’m driving, so I really
shouldn’t.”
“Suit yourself.” He patted the
space next to him on the settee.
“Sit down why don’t you?”
I looked around for another
chair, but there was only the relic from Pompeii.
“I guess I should be going
really.” I didn’t want to get into a ‘thing’ with Frankie, although as I played
out a few scenarios, being seen with a Colin Firth dopppleganger was a definite
plus. As I weighed up my options I saw Tess hovering over me saying ‘go for
it.’ I saw my sister pointing to my biological clock and then Frankie turned
from a bit of a dick to another fish in the sea.
When a large woman sits on a
small settee with a medium sized good looking fish things can get a bit cosy. I
plomped myself down and Frankie smiled. He put his hand on my knee and I
narrowed my preconceived ideas on how the evening would pan out.
“I think we have a lot in
common.”
“Really?” I said.
“Yeah,” Frankie leant forward
and flicked the lava lamp on and then swung his arm up behind me and turned off
the main fluro.
“You’re single, I’m single. The
odds of us getting together according to …” That’s when I threw caution to the
wind and kissed him.
It didn’t take him more than a
second to get the hint to stop talking. As I was teasing his bottom lip my mind
thought that at the outside I could pretend I was kissing Colin Firth, but Frankie was very responsive. Things
began to get interesting as he pushed me back on the seat and gave my tonsils a
bit of a thrashing with his tongue. Any further and he would have tickled that
delicate spot between keeping your dinner down and seeing the carrots all over
again.
I kissed him back, trying to get
worked up, but breathing through your nose and kissing is a bit like playing the
didgeridoo. We sucked face and then I broke off for a breath of air.
“It’s Evelyn isn’t it?”
Right there I should have called
a halt. I mean, if he can’t remember your name, what hope is there?
I closed my eyes and Colin came
into view.
“Yes.” I said with as much
breathy breath I could muster.
He went for my throat and began
nibbling and ended at my ear lobes. Who would have thought they could be so
sensitive and I thanked my lucky stars my mother had put her foot down when I
was 12 and forbid me to get them pierced. I nibbled his ear lobes and they were
soft and tender like fruit pastilles. We were nibbling, and kissing when my
body clock gave me a jab around about the half hour mark and I felt an urge
that I hadn’t felt before. An ache that started in my nether regions and worked
its way up to my belly button.
“Hell’s bells, it’s hot in
here.” I pulled him off me.
I didn’t think it sounded like
an invitation and I hadn’t meant it as such, but Frankie began to undo the
buttons on my shirt.
Here it was again. That moment
when you need to weigh up the options and either call a halt or go for it.
#I was 29 years old for God’s
sake.
#Apparently on average. people
have 8 sexual partners
#I was 29 years old for God’s
sake.
Frankie was three buttons in
when my ample bosom met the mood lighting of the lava lamp. From where I was
sitting they looked quite nice. Lush, inviting and plump. Frankie took one look
and the exclamation was less than subtle.
“Holy shit.”
“I beg your pardon?” I said with
just a hint of displeasure.
“They’re bloody enormous.”
“Excuse me?” I said.
He sat back and pointed as if
picking out an attraction for a tourist bus. I could just imagine it as my
ardour went from red lining to cold shower.
“And here we have the famous
tits. Note their size in relative terms. Postcards can be bought at the gift
shop on the way out.”
“It’s just that I…um…I.”
“What?” I’m sure Colin wouldn’t
have reacted like this.
“I never…”
“Well you have now, so either
get over it or get on with it.” I said. I had read enough of Cleo to know
sometimes you just need to take charge. “Women on top,” I said to myself
thinking of Mary.
Frankie ran his fingers through
his hair and kept starring.
“Frankie?”
“Mmm.”
“Is there a problem?” I felt we
were losing the last of the moment so I undid my last three buttons and pulled
him close for a kiss. I could tell his heart wasn’t in it and then of all the
times, my stomach began to growl. A low rumble that ended in a gurgle like a
bath plug being pulled.
“Sorry, I’m sort of hungry.”
“Yeah.” Frankie sat up and
without taking his eyes off my boobs he added, “hungry.”
There was a tone in Frankie’s
voice, a nuance that I must have missed as he sat there and admired my breasts.
He let out a low moan. A combination of a growl and a beast in pain.
“Pardon?”
“Oh Evelyn.” Frankie shuffled
closer, if that is possible on a small two seater.
“May I?” he asked like a kid
asking for a lollie.
It had never occurred to me that
a man might ask my permission. In my limited experience it was wham bam and not
even a thank you ma’am.
Saturday, 20 June 2015
Fat Bits my new work in progress.
Evelyn Wright is casting for that one fish in the sea, but she has to throw a few back first.
The
sea hath fish for every man.(sic)
William
Camden
'There are plenty of fish in the sea'or so my mother often said, 'you just need the right bait.'
Thursday, 7 May 2015
New Work in Progress. Fifty shades WATCH OUT
my new humorous work in progress. In the planning stages just now.
FAT BITS.
How one woman finds love and sex are two completely different things.
The average woman (so they say) will have 8 sexual partners before getting Mr Right.
The average woman (so they say) will have 8 sexual partners before getting Mr Right.
Evelyn hopes it doesn't take that long.
I love this sculpture for the cover, but you can't go past a classic.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)







fat.jpg)